Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No subtext here. People are naked.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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