he wants to bone in the snuggie
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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