Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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