love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
