its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
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