So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
