I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
