shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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