So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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