Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
