**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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