think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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