...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize