I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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