So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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