you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
