You're completely useless in the revolution.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
