i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
