Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
