I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
