White coat. Heels.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
