I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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