She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
