he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Randomize
