I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
