I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
