Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i've created a new STD.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
