Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
