mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
