you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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