Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
