i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
