How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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