Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
