you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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