STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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