I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
