The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She's the barista slut.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
