I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
