Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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