very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
