Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
