Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
