Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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