toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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