Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Boobs speak an international language.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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