He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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