need another drink. this is the easiest way
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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