The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
