This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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