ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
