Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
