He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
