im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
