why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
