It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
